So what now? It's funny. I was thinking yesterday how January through March I was a mess. I was crying over adoption papers. Crying over my job. Crying over my church. Crying over e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. [Martin accrued many crowns to lay at our sweet Savior's feet this first quarter of 2011].
And the thing is, nothing has changed much. My job is going a bit better. We've decided to stop the adoption process for now. I've decided to go back to school and feed my new love of computers. But you would think that would make me more crazy. But it hasn't. And frankly, I'm not going to try to figure it out. I learned much. I mean MUCH through January, February, and March but nothing profound that I can put my finger on.
Something occurred to me. God doesn't have to teach me anything. He doesn't have to do anything. I get so caught up on Him revolving around ME, I forget it's the other way around. Oh, so you want to throw a "maybe baby" our way? Okay! Why? Who knows. But I don't have to know. He doesn't owe me anything. Yet, I owe him everything. I'm going to enjoy this time of rest (in my heart at least).
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Far surpassing all the rest
It's an ocean full of blessing
In the midst of every test
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Mighty Savior, precious Friend
You will bring us home to glory
Where Your love will never end
