Application Sent:::Application Accepted

Well, I believe we can officially say that we are in the process of adoption! We are no longer thinking about it we are IN it!

It's a great feeling. A few weeks ago we spent some time filling out the paperwork and praying over it our packet. God provided us with the application fee ($300) and we sent it off.

Last night we got a UPS envelope at our door with a DVD, notebook, paperwork and a bill for $3,000. The bill is for the agency fee. We are going to be paying that and filling out the new paperwork (I knew the three page application was too good to be true!) the first of the year then I believe it's time for the home study! That's the funny thing about using small agencies, you guess a lot.

Why Africa?

Our choice in where we are adopting from was surprising to most. I thought I'd give a little background into the how and the why we chose Africa.

I need to say that I like being weird (and by that I mean different) on my terms. I like to stand out if it's something I can control. And adopting, especially outside your race is weird to some. A middle-class white couple adopting from Africa is not normal to many. I have learned though that Jesus broke down the walls of race. He brought Jews (God's chosen) and Gentiles (everybody else) together through dying on a big ugly cross. We have tried to put those walls up again, adding more walls to more races. And I'm pretty sure just like my nephew Gavin loves knocking down things he builds, God loves knocking down walls we put up.

When we were choosing a country we thought somewhere in Asia was where we would focus. We thought it would be easier for our families to adjust. But I guess that was just me trying to control my weirdness. Months ago, I was talking to my friend Kami and I was saying that I was feeling a pull towards Africa. Martin really wasn't into it when I had mentioned it to him and if I may just jump on my soapbox for a moment - please don't manipulate your husbands - especially when it comes to children. We're not talking about a new outfit (although it's not right to manipulate with that either but roll with me here). We're talking about a life. :::Off soapbox and moving on::: I told Kami that I didn't want to walk down the road to Africa. But she said something that I didn't want to hear. She said, Well, maybe God wants to not only teach you but others through the adoption of your children. I knew he would teach others along with us about adoption but to teach about breaking down racial walls was something I wanted to do on my terms.

I have been praying about it since that summer day in her media room. I haven't been praying the prayers of Hannah, where I was making deals with God in exchange for children. No, I was just praying that God would speak to Martin and I and show us who our children should be and where they should come from. And that he would show off. I just love it when God shows off. Life is so much better that way.

When we went to the adoption seminar in Hershey, the theme throughout the conference that Martin and I kept hearing was walk out on faith. We were also shown the need for adoption in Africa. It is so vast. And this is how God changed a southern girl and her northern husband's hearts. It wasn't some big sign in the sky. We didn't have someone walk up to us and tell us they had a message from God. It was a simple theme at a conference and the reminder it's not about us controlling our weirdness, it's all about God showing off.

And we're really okay with that.

Us and Our Tea Cups

I listened to a sermon recently from my dad. He was talking about how God has called us to something that we cannot accomplish. He has called us to live outside ourselves. He has called us to help the hurting and not just help them physically but to help them by sharing God's great Truth through his Son. If you are a follower of Christ then you have been called to this. Our calls may look different but it's a call from God to every believer. And we cannot accomplish this. It's impossible to reach all of the people in the world spiritually and physically. Dad gave a great visual and I've changed it a bit so we can all relate to it.

God has given us tea cups. He's entrusted us with these tea cups and told us to start emptying the oceans. But God, what difference will my tiny tea cup make? It doesn't matter. He's demanded us to do it. So we do it. We obey.

Our call, Martin and mine, is to adopt. That's what we are working on with our tea cup. God has changed our hearts from what we have wanted to what HE has wanted. It's terrifying and so much fun all at the same time. Where we always saw a blended family of those coming from my belly and those coming from other parts of the world - He has changed (so far) to those from other parts of the world.

This past weekend we went to another adoption seminar. We learned much. God also prompted both Martin and I to make a decision on an agency and on where we are going to adopt. And Saturday night when we got home we talked it over and cried and decided.

We are using the smaller agency, located in Washington State. And for our first adoption we are putting in for siblings or multiples under the age of four in - Africa.

So, here we are at the shore - with our tea cups, emptying out the ocean. It seems silly but it's what we've all been called to do. And I'll gladly do it if it's for my Father. He's so faithful.

Adoption and Orphan Care Conference

It's Tuesday and on Saturday Martin and I went to our first adoption seminar. It was nothing less than amazing. It's taken me this long to process it. I learned so much I felt like I had been beat up inside. Martin and I were both exhausted. And what did I do all day? I cried.

I cried and cried and cried. All day. I walked in the lobby of Fellowship Baptist and the lump started in my throat. Don't you start crying and look like a crazy lady, I told myself. I've always been one to care what other people think of me. I mean, I've been like that since I can remember. I was always aware of people around me. But 20 minutes into the opening session I finally let that go. The tears started. I did withhold the sobs but all day the tears came. And let's just say I'm not a Hollywood crier. No wait I am. Have you seen Steel Magnolia's? You know when Julia Robert's character Shelby had her diabetic episode on the morning of her wedding at Trudy's salon? And she says, Stop talkin' about me like I'm not here! Well, if you haven't seen it - it ain't pretty and that's who I look like crying. Before lunch I went to the bathroom and realized that people were not staring at me because they thought my make-up looked good. It was because my face was splotchy and my eyes were swollen and red. I guess I should have been nicer to the photographer that met me in the hallway and asked if I was okay.

Moving on, I cried, you get that. I can't say enough about Fellowship Baptist Church in Mt Laurel. God truly blessed the day. It went perfect and it was free. We learned so much. One of the biggest blessings was the finance workshop we went to. I've been concerned about that (that's the Christian language for worrying) and God was so gracious. We were able to see all the different ways we could raise money and that our government actually does help (after you pay out of course). Martin and I both cried through that one. There was a burden lifted off of both of us.

We were able to sit in one workshop a Pediatrician led. He and his wife have adopted a little girl from Guatemala. He went through the medical process of international adoption. He offered his services as we choose medically what we will accept and not accept. He also offered his services to look over the referral medical papers of the child(ren) that will be chosen for us. We are so thankful for this man! And we found our Pediatrician out of it too.

So where are we now? Well, we ran into some people that used to go to church with us at the conference. They have adopted multiple children through a small adoption agency in Washington State. It didn't occur to me that it might be cheaper. We now have to decide do we go through a large adoption agency, where they will call and lead us through everything, setting up appointments and being there when we have questions OR do we go with a small agency that will take care of the process overseas but we have to take care of everything here. The difference is about $10,000 vs. 10,000 hours. Which is more important? Do we save time or money? Saving money would mean dropping out of almost every ministry at church and maybe postponing school for a season to focus on the adoption process. Money would mean that I might have to work part-time when the child(ren) gets here to pay off a loan we might have to take out. It's not an easy decision for us and we are praying about it and investigating both.

One cool thing is we have talked about adopting from Thailand for a couple of years but when we went to investigate, not many agencies were going there because of the low number of children that were allowed to be adopted each year. But when we looked at the small agency, Thailand is available to adopt from. We don't want to base where we want to adopt on the agency because God has opened our hearts to more than what we originally thought we wanted.

This all has been such a picture of how we must live radically and step out on faith. He's faithful and wants to show off. And we want Him to in us.

Our First Seminar

We're signed up for our first adoption seminar. October 2. Fellowship Baptist Church in Mt. Laurel (about 30 minutes from our house) is hosting an adoption seminar and we are paid and signed up. I am very excited, needless to say. I think we've signed up for some good workshops. Honestly, I can't remember all that we signed up for but two that I do remember are, ABC's of international adoption and finding ways to get adoption funding. All I really know about adoption are things that I've read on the internet (adoption websites and blogs) and books. It will be exciting to get our toes wet with real live people!

I'm excited to see how God is going to use this for Martin too. He really needs something tangible to look forward to and I think this will give him just that; A game plan if you will.

Something we have been trying to do is evaluate our ministries at church. I will be taking on a part time job in January. Not one that pays but starting paperwork and studying for adoption. So no, not a "real" part time job but the hours will probably be the same. Please be praying for wisdom on that issue!

The Life of Two Blogs

I wrote a post today on my other blog but I wanted it to be on this blog too. So I'm posting a link because that's how I roll. Click here if you haven't read it.

My First Phone Call!

Well, today I made my first phone call to an adoption agency! I called American World Adoption Agency (AWAA) during my lunch hour to see if there are going to be any information meetings in our area. I spoke with Mike and he was great. He said they slow down in the summer and start back up in the fall with informational meetings. I told him we were choosing an agency instead of a country. He said Bethany Christian Services was a great place too and they are all in the same family - wanting all orphans to have loving homes. That's what I like to hear! So we will wait until the fall to go to an information meeting with AWAA. Next up: Bethany Christian Services.

A few months ago, Martin's mom asked us what she should tell people when they ask her if we're going to start a family soon (it's been almost eight years - I'm proud that people have kept their mouths closed this long - I was never that good!). She and I went around about it. She tells them that we are going to start the adoption process soon and that seems to warrant more questions. Martin piped in and said in his wisdom, "Just tell them we are CHOOSING to adopt." We both looked at him and told him we were very impressed with that answer.

So to our family and friends: if someone asks you about us and you're just not in the mood to give a long drawn out explanation of where God has taken us then you can simply tell them: We are choosing to adopt. We're forgoing fertility of any kind and just trucking forward on what we feel God is calling us to do. But that doesn't mean I could be pregnant next month. My God is big and can do whatever He wants.

Change

I was talking to Tyler (our temporary roommate) last night. We were talking about how we as Christians are constantly changing. This is usually a good thing. But in today's technological world it can backfire. Many pastor's are quoted for things they once said. They are usually things that were posted on the Internet and years down the road, someone uses it against them or for that particular person's agenda. Take Mark Driscoll for instance, many ultra-conservative pastors and leaders like to say he's Emergent. He was, back in the early 2000's. But C.J. Mahaney confronted him, took him to the Word and Mark left the Emergent movement. But there is little grace for some because they will quote things he said years ago and use it to their advantage.

What does this have to do with my adoption blog? Well, I'm changing. Martin's changing. The Holy Spirit is changing us. We may have said things in the past about where we want to adopt, where we feel God is leading us to, who we will not adopt and where we will not adopt. I just want to warn anyone reading this or anyone that I basically talk to: Change is coming.

Please don't hold me to things. "I thought you said..." will probably come to mind when I write or talk about adoption. God is changing us in radical ways and it's not because we're unbalanced but because we're available.

FBC Adoption Video

My dad's church made a video about Adoption. Wanted to share it. Click here to watch it. In my dad's words, "It's a real snot slinger."

On Our Hearts

Martin and I talked about adoption before we were married. We didn't plan on it, we just talked about how it would be cool to one day adopt. I'm not sure if that's when God put it on our hearts or if we both had thought about it before that. I never stayed up at night dreaming about adopting children but then again I never stayed up at night dreaming about having a baby the physical way either. I just dreamed of being a wife and mother.

All I know is that on June 27, 2005, God made adoption a big reality to Martin and I. When Martin had an accident at the Police Academy, his doctor said it could affect if we could have children biologically. So, at that time, my dreams of being a mom weren't crushed, just my thinking changed. I didn't become a big adoption advocate or the desire to have kids biologically didn't magically disappear, I just wanted kids. That's all I've ever wanted. I want to be a mom. And slowly, God has changed (and is still changing) my heart to not caring how He brings those children to me.

Leaving all of that aside, I have to admit that if God doesn't desire for us to have children that I would still be the happiest, luckiest wife in the world. I am married to an amazing guy. He puts up with me and all who know me knows that is a huge and totally a God thing. I am a child of the most high God first then a wife then one day, Lord willing, a mom. In that order and it should never change.

Remember

I felt like this was a good time to start our adoption blog. It's something I one day want to show our children. We haven't filled papers out yet. We haven't even picked an agency (although we're close).

I wanted to spend this time (before the busy paper work begins) recapping why we want to adopt, how God has brought us to this point, and our struggles and joys along the way - maybe I should rephrase that, joy through our struggles along the way.

I know that once the application is signed and meetings begin and paperwork is due, I will only write about what is going on. So this is a time for me to reflect and REMEMBER. That's something I need to do more often. Wrapped up in circumstances only makes you aware of how God is not providing for what you want at the moment. Reflecting on His faithfulness in the past brings you a peace that only He can provide.

Martin and I aren't super Saints for wanting to adopt. We're weird. I've accepted that. The normal person wants to have a baby the way it's been done since Adam and Eve. I want that. I hope for that but it's not my first choice. Not because I don't want it to be but because God has allowed me to see that He (so far) has chosen something different for Martin and me. And simply put:::I want what God wants.

I'm so excited to see what God is going to DO through us. Bringing a baby or a child or children in through whatever way He pleases. We just want to be available.