Change

I was talking to Tyler (our temporary roommate) last night. We were talking about how we as Christians are constantly changing. This is usually a good thing. But in today's technological world it can backfire. Many pastor's are quoted for things they once said. They are usually things that were posted on the Internet and years down the road, someone uses it against them or for that particular person's agenda. Take Mark Driscoll for instance, many ultra-conservative pastors and leaders like to say he's Emergent. He was, back in the early 2000's. But C.J. Mahaney confronted him, took him to the Word and Mark left the Emergent movement. But there is little grace for some because they will quote things he said years ago and use it to their advantage.

What does this have to do with my adoption blog? Well, I'm changing. Martin's changing. The Holy Spirit is changing us. We may have said things in the past about where we want to adopt, where we feel God is leading us to, who we will not adopt and where we will not adopt. I just want to warn anyone reading this or anyone that I basically talk to: Change is coming.

Please don't hold me to things. "I thought you said..." will probably come to mind when I write or talk about adoption. God is changing us in radical ways and it's not because we're unbalanced but because we're available.

FBC Adoption Video

My dad's church made a video about Adoption. Wanted to share it. Click here to watch it. In my dad's words, "It's a real snot slinger."

On Our Hearts

Martin and I talked about adoption before we were married. We didn't plan on it, we just talked about how it would be cool to one day adopt. I'm not sure if that's when God put it on our hearts or if we both had thought about it before that. I never stayed up at night dreaming about adopting children but then again I never stayed up at night dreaming about having a baby the physical way either. I just dreamed of being a wife and mother.

All I know is that on June 27, 2005, God made adoption a big reality to Martin and I. When Martin had an accident at the Police Academy, his doctor said it could affect if we could have children biologically. So, at that time, my dreams of being a mom weren't crushed, just my thinking changed. I didn't become a big adoption advocate or the desire to have kids biologically didn't magically disappear, I just wanted kids. That's all I've ever wanted. I want to be a mom. And slowly, God has changed (and is still changing) my heart to not caring how He brings those children to me.

Leaving all of that aside, I have to admit that if God doesn't desire for us to have children that I would still be the happiest, luckiest wife in the world. I am married to an amazing guy. He puts up with me and all who know me knows that is a huge and totally a God thing. I am a child of the most high God first then a wife then one day, Lord willing, a mom. In that order and it should never change.

Remember

I felt like this was a good time to start our adoption blog. It's something I one day want to show our children. We haven't filled papers out yet. We haven't even picked an agency (although we're close).

I wanted to spend this time (before the busy paper work begins) recapping why we want to adopt, how God has brought us to this point, and our struggles and joys along the way - maybe I should rephrase that, joy through our struggles along the way.

I know that once the application is signed and meetings begin and paperwork is due, I will only write about what is going on. So this is a time for me to reflect and REMEMBER. That's something I need to do more often. Wrapped up in circumstances only makes you aware of how God is not providing for what you want at the moment. Reflecting on His faithfulness in the past brings you a peace that only He can provide.

Martin and I aren't super Saints for wanting to adopt. We're weird. I've accepted that. The normal person wants to have a baby the way it's been done since Adam and Eve. I want that. I hope for that but it's not my first choice. Not because I don't want it to be but because God has allowed me to see that He (so far) has chosen something different for Martin and me. And simply put:::I want what God wants.

I'm so excited to see what God is going to DO through us. Bringing a baby or a child or children in through whatever way He pleases. We just want to be available.