AND We're Back.

I've been quiet on both blogs. I've started school and I'm trying to find a balance between home, work, school, people, and adoption paperwork. That's right! We've started back on the paperwork. Okay, let me rephrase that. We've decided to start back but I can't get the packet off the bookshelf and over to the table to start. I say I'm too busy and forget but honestly, I had a super hard time with it before and I'm scared.

Martin and I went to the Outer Banks in North Carolina a couple of weeks ago and we were able to talk about adoption without interruption. We started at the beginning. Do we want to adopt or do fertility? Adopt. Do we want to do foreign or domestic? Foreign. What countries do we want to look at? 1. South Korea 2. Thailand 3. Ethiopia. We then went through each country and guess what? We came back to Ethiopia. I wish we had this great revelation. That in a dream God told us what country to adopt from. But that's not how it worked and honestly, God chooses to work like that with others more than me but he also knows I'd probably worship the way he showed me instead of worshipping him.

In these few months of quiet (they really were quiet, it was great), I've thought a lot about adoption and why I have a desire to adopt and what that looks like. I think I've said it before, there is a fine line between wanting to change the world and wanting to be a mom. Maybe I feel this because I seem to be choosing adoption because I haven't been able to get pregnant. I'm not sure. But Martin and I do want to live a radical life for Christ and we think this is the way he's called us. But I also just want to be a mom and Martin wants to be a dad.

Hopefully when I write again it will be to say that our paperwork and agency fee is in the mail. But if it's not, don't get your panties in a wad. I'll get to it.