Oh that God, He's a funny One. A few days after Martin and I saw a very clear stop sign from God when it came to adopting in Ethiopia, we were thrown a curve ball.
A woman at work approached me last Tuesday and asked if we would be interested in adopting a baby of a family member. It's a complicated situation and honestly, the probability of us actually being able to go through with this is slim (in human terms), we told her yes, we were interested.
The great thing is we were able to tell our family and small group about it and there are so many people praying for us, the family, and this little girl who is due to pop in this world in a little more than two months! I have my moments of panic. We need to do our home study. Should I call an adoption lawyer now? What about my job? But I quickly recover and know this is so out of my hands that those are just tiny details. Today, I am okay if we aren't considered to be parents to this girl and if anything I can pray for her as she grows, wherever she is. Not sure how I'll feel tomorrow. But today, as in all days, I know God is allowing this and only has our good in mind and ultimately His glory.
So we wait and rest in our God, who is ever faithful and constant.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Stopping.
After much prayer Martin and I have decided to stop our adoption process for the moment. I have no idea how long but we both know this is what we are supposed to do. We are still going to practice living on a tight budget, save money, pay off bills we've accumulated just like we have been but we're not proceeding with the adoption.
Again, I have no idea how long this is going to be. I do know we are doing the right thing. I'm excited to see God work in our hearts and in ways around us. He's bigger than us and really loves showing off and I'm excited that we're a part of it.
But I do ask that you pray for the children in Ethiopia. This cut in adoption doesn't mean there are less children. And that has made me look outside myself more in these few weeks and not pray for our children but for His children.
Again, I have no idea how long this is going to be. I do know we are doing the right thing. I'm excited to see God work in our hearts and in ways around us. He's bigger than us and really loves showing off and I'm excited that we're a part of it.
But I do ask that you pray for the children in Ethiopia. This cut in adoption doesn't mean there are less children. And that has made me look outside myself more in these few weeks and not pray for our children but for His children.
Monday, March 7, 2011
The Yo-Yo Effect
So this is it. We aren't going to spared are we? We too have to go through ups and downs of adoption. It's not smooth sailing. It's not easy. It's not cheap. It's not predictable.
I don't know why I would've thought any differently. Maybe because I've been on such an emotional roller coaster these past few months that I thought I was safe from something outside of myself affecting our adoption.
We read an article on Saturday evening that said Ethiopia is tightening up adoptions by 90%. They say it's to make sure children are not being stolen and sold. They say it's for the children. It happened in Guatemala. People were stealing babies and selling them because there was such a demand for babies and Guatemala was cheap and fast. So they shut it down there. Now it seems they will be doing the same in Ethiopia. They say they don't know how long. We haven't heard anything from our agency officially. Wouldn't it be great if it was a fluke? If it only lasted a month?
I have a really bad habit of over thinking everything. I'm pretty sure that's all part of the curse. In the last 48 hours I have questioned so much.
Is the reason why I am having such a hard time filling out paperwork because this isn't what we're supposed to do? Where is that fine line of wanting to just be parents and helping in the bigger picture of adopting those who are fatherless? Is there a safer way? Should we just go and try fertility treatments? Can I handle all of this and still be able to work effectively in my job? Maybe I should just throw in the towel.
But I know that it is not my job to question. It's not my job to wonder. It's not my job to doubt. It is my job to obey and seek first the kingdom of God. Cause Jesus says that tomorrow will take care of itself. But right now, I'm just gonna sit up in my Father's lap and cry a little cause I'm scared.
I don't know why I would've thought any differently. Maybe because I've been on such an emotional roller coaster these past few months that I thought I was safe from something outside of myself affecting our adoption.
We read an article on Saturday evening that said Ethiopia is tightening up adoptions by 90%. They say it's to make sure children are not being stolen and sold. They say it's for the children. It happened in Guatemala. People were stealing babies and selling them because there was such a demand for babies and Guatemala was cheap and fast. So they shut it down there. Now it seems they will be doing the same in Ethiopia. They say they don't know how long. We haven't heard anything from our agency officially. Wouldn't it be great if it was a fluke? If it only lasted a month?
I have a really bad habit of over thinking everything. I'm pretty sure that's all part of the curse. In the last 48 hours I have questioned so much.
Is the reason why I am having such a hard time filling out paperwork because this isn't what we're supposed to do? Where is that fine line of wanting to just be parents and helping in the bigger picture of adopting those who are fatherless? Is there a safer way? Should we just go and try fertility treatments? Can I handle all of this and still be able to work effectively in my job? Maybe I should just throw in the towel.
But I know that it is not my job to question. It's not my job to wonder. It's not my job to doubt. It is my job to obey and seek first the kingdom of God. Cause Jesus says that tomorrow will take care of itself. But right now, I'm just gonna sit up in my Father's lap and cry a little cause I'm scared.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
An Update
I wish I had cool news that gave you chills when you read this post but alas, I do not.
We are slowly going through the sea of paperwork from the agency. I get a bit overwhelmed but Martin says if we work on two pages a night we won't get overwhelmed. Martin's gets home late some nights so we're not working every night. We have to make an appointment with the Pediatrician. He has offered to go over our medical list. We have to say whether we will consider or not consider certain defects concerning our children. I'm very thankful for this doctor who has offered his services for free. And he is an unemotional person that can explain things to us and help us be realistic. He has also adopted internationally and we don't have to find a pediatrician - one less thing on our list!
It looks like after we get all of our paperwork finished for the agency and pay their $3,000 fee we will call the social worker and start the home study. We're guessing the home study fee will be around $1,500. During the home study we will start applying for grants and also apply for help from Lifesong for Orphans. Because we're asking for a sibling group we will be qualified for more grants than some BUT that means more paperwork.
So there's the update. I know there is an end to all of this and it will be worth it. I wish I could say that I smile every moment I fill out my name, address, and so on but it's not always like that. But then again. That's life right? And we keep on going, knowing that we are a part of a bigger plan.
We are slowly going through the sea of paperwork from the agency. I get a bit overwhelmed but Martin says if we work on two pages a night we won't get overwhelmed. Martin's gets home late some nights so we're not working every night. We have to make an appointment with the Pediatrician. He has offered to go over our medical list. We have to say whether we will consider or not consider certain defects concerning our children. I'm very thankful for this doctor who has offered his services for free. And he is an unemotional person that can explain things to us and help us be realistic. He has also adopted internationally and we don't have to find a pediatrician - one less thing on our list!
It looks like after we get all of our paperwork finished for the agency and pay their $3,000 fee we will call the social worker and start the home study. We're guessing the home study fee will be around $1,500. During the home study we will start applying for grants and also apply for help from Lifesong for Orphans. Because we're asking for a sibling group we will be qualified for more grants than some BUT that means more paperwork.
So there's the update. I know there is an end to all of this and it will be worth it. I wish I could say that I smile every moment I fill out my name, address, and so on but it's not always like that. But then again. That's life right? And we keep on going, knowing that we are a part of a bigger plan.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Application Sent:::Application Accepted
Well, I believe we can officially say that we are in the process of adoption! We are no longer thinking about it we are IN it!
It's a great feeling. A few weeks ago we spent some time filling out the paperwork and praying over it our packet. God provided us with the application fee ($300) and we sent it off.
Last night we got a UPS envelope at our door with a DVD, notebook, paperwork and a bill for $3,000. The bill is for the agency fee. We are going to be paying that and filling out the new paperwork (I knew the three page application was too good to be true!) the first of the year then I believe it's time for the home study! That's the funny thing about using small agencies, you guess a lot.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Why Africa?
Our choice in where we are adopting from was surprising to most. I thought I'd give a little background into the how and the why we chose Africa.
I need to say that I like being weird (and by that I mean different) on my terms. I like to stand out if it's something I can control. And adopting, especially outside your race is weird to some. A middle-class white couple adopting from Africa is not normal to many. I have learned though that Jesus broke down the walls of race. He brought Jews (God's chosen) and Gentiles (everybody else) together through dying on a big ugly cross. We have tried to put those walls up again, adding more walls to more races. And I'm pretty sure just like my nephew Gavin loves knocking down things he builds, God loves knocking down walls we put up.
When we were choosing a country we thought somewhere in Asia was where we would focus. We thought it would be easier for our families to adjust. But I guess that was just me trying to control my weirdness. Months ago, I was talking to my friend Kami and I was saying that I was feeling a pull towards Africa. Martin really wasn't into it when I had mentioned it to him and if I may just jump on my soapbox for a moment - please don't manipulate your husbands - especially when it comes to children. We're not talking about a new outfit (although it's not right to manipulate with that either but roll with me here). We're talking about a life. :::Off soapbox and moving on::: I told Kami that I didn't want to walk down the road to Africa. But she said something that I didn't want to hear. She said, Well, maybe God wants to not only teach you but others through the adoption of your children. I knew he would teach others along with us about adoption but to teach about breaking down racial walls was something I wanted to do on my terms.
I have been praying about it since that summer day in her media room. I haven't been praying the prayers of Hannah, where I was making deals with God in exchange for children. No, I was just praying that God would speak to Martin and I and show us who our children should be and where they should come from. And that he would show off. I just love it when God shows off. Life is so much better that way.
When we went to the adoption seminar in Hershey, the theme throughout the conference that Martin and I kept hearing was walk out on faith. We were also shown the need for adoption in Africa. It is so vast. And this is how God changed a southern girl and her northern husband's hearts. It wasn't some big sign in the sky. We didn't have someone walk up to us and tell us they had a message from God. It was a simple theme at a conference and the reminder it's not about us controlling our weirdness, it's all about God showing off.
And we're really okay with that.
I need to say that I like being weird (and by that I mean different) on my terms. I like to stand out if it's something I can control. And adopting, especially outside your race is weird to some. A middle-class white couple adopting from Africa is not normal to many. I have learned though that Jesus broke down the walls of race. He brought Jews (God's chosen) and Gentiles (everybody else) together through dying on a big ugly cross. We have tried to put those walls up again, adding more walls to more races. And I'm pretty sure just like my nephew Gavin loves knocking down things he builds, God loves knocking down walls we put up.
When we were choosing a country we thought somewhere in Asia was where we would focus. We thought it would be easier for our families to adjust. But I guess that was just me trying to control my weirdness. Months ago, I was talking to my friend Kami and I was saying that I was feeling a pull towards Africa. Martin really wasn't into it when I had mentioned it to him and if I may just jump on my soapbox for a moment - please don't manipulate your husbands - especially when it comes to children. We're not talking about a new outfit (although it's not right to manipulate with that either but roll with me here). We're talking about a life. :::Off soapbox and moving on::: I told Kami that I didn't want to walk down the road to Africa. But she said something that I didn't want to hear. She said, Well, maybe God wants to not only teach you but others through the adoption of your children. I knew he would teach others along with us about adoption but to teach about breaking down racial walls was something I wanted to do on my terms.
I have been praying about it since that summer day in her media room. I haven't been praying the prayers of Hannah, where I was making deals with God in exchange for children. No, I was just praying that God would speak to Martin and I and show us who our children should be and where they should come from. And that he would show off. I just love it when God shows off. Life is so much better that way.
When we went to the adoption seminar in Hershey, the theme throughout the conference that Martin and I kept hearing was walk out on faith. We were also shown the need for adoption in Africa. It is so vast. And this is how God changed a southern girl and her northern husband's hearts. It wasn't some big sign in the sky. We didn't have someone walk up to us and tell us they had a message from God. It was a simple theme at a conference and the reminder it's not about us controlling our weirdness, it's all about God showing off.
And we're really okay with that.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Us and Our Tea Cups
I listened to a sermon recently from my dad. He was talking about how God has called us to something that we cannot accomplish. He has called us to live outside ourselves. He has called us to help the hurting and not just help them physically but to help them by sharing God's great Truth through his Son. If you are a follower of Christ then you have been called to this. Our calls may look different but it's a call from God to every believer. And we cannot accomplish this. It's impossible to reach all of the people in the world spiritually and physically. Dad gave a great visual and I've changed it a bit so we can all relate to it.
God has given us tea cups. He's entrusted us with these tea cups and told us to start emptying the oceans. But God, what difference will my tiny tea cup make? It doesn't matter. He's demanded us to do it. So we do it. We obey.
Our call, Martin and mine, is to adopt. That's what we are working on with our tea cup. God has changed our hearts from what we have wanted to what HE has wanted. It's terrifying and so much fun all at the same time. Where we always saw a blended family of those coming from my belly and those coming from other parts of the world - He has changed (so far) to those from other parts of the world.
This past weekend we went to another adoption seminar. We learned much. God also prompted both Martin and I to make a decision on an agency and on where we are going to adopt. And Saturday night when we got home we talked it over and cried and decided.
We are using the smaller agency, located in Washington State. And for our first adoption we are putting in for siblings or multiples under the age of four in - Africa.
So, here we are at the shore - with our tea cups, emptying out the ocean. It seems silly but it's what we've all been called to do. And I'll gladly do it if it's for my Father. He's so faithful.
God has given us tea cups. He's entrusted us with these tea cups and told us to start emptying the oceans. But God, what difference will my tiny tea cup make? It doesn't matter. He's demanded us to do it. So we do it. We obey.
Our call, Martin and mine, is to adopt. That's what we are working on with our tea cup. God has changed our hearts from what we have wanted to what HE has wanted. It's terrifying and so much fun all at the same time. Where we always saw a blended family of those coming from my belly and those coming from other parts of the world - He has changed (so far) to those from other parts of the world.
This past weekend we went to another adoption seminar. We learned much. God also prompted both Martin and I to make a decision on an agency and on where we are going to adopt. And Saturday night when we got home we talked it over and cried and decided.
We are using the smaller agency, located in Washington State. And for our first adoption we are putting in for siblings or multiples under the age of four in - Africa.
So, here we are at the shore - with our tea cups, emptying out the ocean. It seems silly but it's what we've all been called to do. And I'll gladly do it if it's for my Father. He's so faithful.
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